Why are we so afraid of asking others to meet our needs? This question has been swirling in my mind over the past week.
When you’re used to not having your needs met, it somehow feels easier to not ask for what you need. To not be a burden. To not have the support. To not be vulnerable, even when that vulnerability means someone else will witness it. It’s easier to be disappointed by having unmet needs, than to ask for what you really want (and still potentially have your needs unfulfilled anyway).
Somehow, asking for what you need feels like a burden. Like you’ll be putting someone out. Like it’s too much to ask for someone’s love and loyalty when that’s what you really want.
Let me remind you - what you want really matters. It’s important you ask for what you need, because you can’t keep feeling unfulfilled in this way. It’s not healthy for you. It means you’re suffering in silence and you don’t need to. No one is a mind reader, but you can’t stay silent about what you need either. Communication is key when you want your needs to be met… and sometimes, even when you communicate your needs, that person may be aware they’re not able to do that for you. That’s ok too. Everyone has their own capacity to hold their own emotions and the emotions of others. It doesn’t mean your emotions are unworthy of being voiced or that you’re any less worthy of love and support.
Be tender with your heart and those you place faith in meeting your needs. Ask for what you need, otherwise you’ll never allow someone the opportunity to be that safety net for you.