How present are you in all your relationships? Are you absent-mindedly checking in with those you love, or not checking in at all? Can they genuinely count you? Are you truly present or is your mind elsewhere?

 

These questions have been on my mind over the past week. Do people notice when I’m upset? Are they there to comfort me? Who can I count on to check in when I’m feeling vulnerable and lost?

 

I believe it’s true that people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves. It could be that your vulnerability shines a light on the discomfort they’re not ready to face just yet. It could be that they’re not present in their own lives, so they don’t have the capacity to comfort you when you need it. None of this is a reflection on you. Perhaps they have their own work to do.

 

But, your presence in your relationships makes a world of difference. Having someone reach out and say “I’m here for a chat, a coffee or whatever you need” can be some of the most comforting words to hear. Your presence in your relationships matters.

 

Aside from presence in relationships, I’ve shifted my habits with using my mobile phone – I know some of my lack of presence stems from checking in on the world inside my phone, but life is happening outside of that little screen. I’ve stopped taking my phone to the gym in the morning and it’s felt liberating not rushing to check notifications or catch up on Instagram straight afterwards. It’s given me space to breathe and be present.

 

It’s so easy to get caught up with what’s happening in the digital world that you become absent-minded in your daily life. I’m guilty of it, but I’m working towards changing it and becoming present for the moments that my phone won’t capture. The everyday.